Something amazing started to happen this last year, and then when I turned 40- BAM…it hit big time. I no longer have time for things that used to bother me. What a gift. I have heard about this before from friends, but it wasn’t until it happened to me that I really believed it. Man- this could have been helpful the last like…well, my whole life. It’s like this amazing Superpower you get when you turn forty.

Here are a few examples of things I don’t give a toot about anymore. I am sure other mamas in their 40’s can add to it. Please do.

1. My thighs. I mean, I am annoyed that they have gotten bigger this last year and a half but it really doesn’t matter. Why? Because thass. That’s right. No matter how great my thighs are there is thass. If you don’t know what that is, you are too young. Do not read the next sentence. It means your ass and thighs have met and become one. I swear this is true.
2. My face without makeup. I look terrible. I look old and tired.Guess what? I am old and tired. I need to drink more water, eat way healthier than I do, work out again, and get more sleep. My thighs and my face would thank me for it. But at the end of the day after work I want comfort food, a glass of wine, and tv. Reality tv. (Dance Moms to make me feel better about myself as a mom and Sister Wives to make me smile. Don’t judge.) Speaking of work…
3. I am physically not the teacher I once was. First of all, I cannot, I tell you, I cannot get down on the floor the same way I used to. I can do it, but it’s different. The popping and creaking my joints make scare me and probably the kids I work with. Second, if I do get down on the floor the kids pig pile me because they are in desperate need of another hug. Usually I am in a squatting position because I know it will happen and I need to get up fast before it does. Here is the thing, if ten kids try to get on your back and you are in the squatting position you really can’t hold yourself up very well. (See #1 about bigger thighs, and #2 about not working out.) If this happens you will have a hard time for the next few days getting on and off the toilette. My physical abilities as a teacher have gone downhill- but my patience as a teacher has gone up. So be it.
4. Rude people. This falls under the, “I don’t have time for crap” category because Sister Wives is on. I used to mull over in my head rude remarks or behaviors of coworkers, people in customer service, or the random driver that flipped me off.  It would literally bother me for days if someone was rude. Now I just walk away. I do utter a silent prayer for them (mostly nice, depending on if I have had my coffee or not) but I walk away. Do NOT engage. I repeat, do not engage.
5. Offending people when I stand up for myself. I used to think standing up for myself was a “no no” in certain situations. Then I realized, duh, I am not a doormat. Don’t confuse this with #4 where I walk away from the random rude person. For the love of all things holy, we all know I am opinionated, passionate, and one who speaks with conviction. You don’t have to agree with me. And you don’t have to like what I say. And you don’t have to like me. I am okay with that. But if you attack my integrity, my faith, my work ethic, my children (heaven help you) I will say something and probably not back down until you appear to understand. Most of the time I can stand up for myself in a kind way. Sometimes, the last straw happens and the “Gorvin” comes out. It happens… I might have the “superpower forty” but I am still human.

Forty is fabulous. It is freeing. It is not as bad as they tell you. Clearly there are benefits.